Things I Actually Did During The Lockdown: Vol. 1

Yes, another list. It's what I do. Expect more in the future. This is an incomplete list of some of the things that I actually managed to accomplish during The Lockdown.  Alternate title: A Less Than Enchanted April in Rooms Without Much in the Way of a View is Cold Comfort Indeed!*

• Re-read all the library books I’d picked up before this mess began. Those things are seriously overdue, but I’m pretty sure it’s okay. If I'd realized what we were in for, I would have checked out a bunch more.   
• Gave Hubby an awesome haircut. Full disclosure: I give him haircuts even when we’re not in lockdown. This one though, really looked good! Pity nobody saw it! I also gave myself a major trim. I figured that even when I have to go out, my hair is up or in a baseball cap (so the mask ties don’t get caught in it)… nobody will see a bad trim!
• Finished a crochet hat with a challenging pattern that I’d started over a year ago and misplaced. The bigger challenge was figuring out where I'd left off. Gotta remember not to stop mid-project like that.
• Tested some Christmas gift ideas. In April! What is the world coming to? I'd say more but that would be telling.
• Weeded the garden. Yes, I weeded. Totally not joking, I really did. And then, after getting up close and personal with the little darlings, had to find out what they’re actually called and other non-pertinent information about them. Because I could. And it was the least I could do after unceremoniously ripping them up by their invasive %$#@!& roots.  My favorite weed? The Redstem Storksbill!
• Did some reading up on the habits and habitats of our local feathered friends. We had an Oak Titmouse family in our front yard birdhouse. I could watch their comings and goings as they “feathered their nest” and fledged their young. Forget the Lion King, we've got the circle of life right here in our front yard. And it's awesome.  
• A bit of clutter clearing happened. Then the sun came out! After a cold grey winter, I've pretty much planted myself on the porch to soak up as much heat as possible. Not sun, heat. There is a difference. Might do some more de-cluttering now that the fickle weather has turned on us once again.
• With the libraries still closed, and you know, a swirling vortex of stress, I turned to my favorite novels for comfort and escape. They’re the ones in green print cotton covers in the photo above. Re-reading them is like therapy. No, it's more like a special treat; a visit with an old friend. I don’t like the look of paperbacks, so to cover up the sometimes damaged (sometimes ugly) covers, I glue fabric over them. It’s pretty and it reinforces the cheap paper covers.

So that was April. This is May. May is thus far just like April. But if I look closely, there are some positive changes happening….

Cheer up, Buttercups!
—Steph

*Three of the top favs: Enchanted April by Elizabeth Von Arnim, A Room With a View by EM Forster, and Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons. These also have the distinction of having had excellent movies made from them with stellar casts. The same can not be said of all my favorite novels.

Rip It Out and Re-do It! (embracing the do-over)

When I was a kid, and something wasn't going my way, I'd call out, "Do over!" The slate was immediately wiped clean and I would start again. Somewhere along the way to adulthood though, I forgot about the beauty of do-overs and began resenting anything I had to start over or do more than once. Perhaps as I grew older I became more aware of time passing... of the limited time we all have, and I didn't want to waste any of it doing the same thing twice? Maybe. 

Lately though, I've begun to re-consider the do-over, the second chance. How many times in life do we wish that we could go back and do something over, do it better, or at the very least, do it differently... say it differently. Should we just accept that we did the best that we could at the time and move on? That certainly sounds like the healthier option. And I think with most things, it is. After all, we can't go back in time, so the trick is to do the best we can right now.

But where is the point at which we look at something and say, "That's good enough" and can be truly happy with it... or think, "No, better re-do it", knowing it may forever nag at us if we don't? How do we know when to start over and when to just let go and move forward?

I've started making a new baby quilt and these are the thoughts that have been swimming around in my head as I progress with it. Is it any wonder that it takes me so long to finish one of these?! 

One of the blocks I'd made the other day kept bugging me. I walked away for a while. Something about it just bothered me. So I slept on it (not literally of course). And in the light of a new day.... it still sat there with a scowl. Or was that me? I rearranged the blocks. Rotated them this way and that. Looked at them from every angle. I'd spent a whole day trying to talk myself into accepting it as-is and yet I wasn't happy. 

No, there was nothing for it but to rip apart the offending block and do it over. I scowled some more, but as I finally sat down with a cup of tea and got to work with my seam ripper, something happened: I embraced the do-over for what it was, a second chance. Just the thought of getting rid of all that future angst I would no doubt have, if I left things as they were, started to lift my spirits. The tea probably helped also.

The do-over is simply part of the process. That's what popped into my head. The frustration? It went out the window. In the end, I had a better quilt block and hardly any setback at all. I will forever be able to identify the once offending block, but now it will be without any internal nagging or regret. Instead, it will be with an inward smile of satisfaction that I did do the best that I could at the time.  Because sometimes the best we can do... is to call a do-over.

The Seven Year Stitch

See the quilt in the photo? Does it look familiar? Maybe it looks a little like my blog header up there? Well, there's a reason for that. They are the same quilt, just at different stages of completion. Like a magazine tear-out of a swimsuit model taped on the fridge (horrid thought) might remind someone about their goal of getting in shape for summer, I very cleverly used a photo of my unfinished quilt project for my blog banner. I see it nearly everyday. So, I am constantly being reminded of something I haven't finished. Is that sick or what?

The Phenomenon Of Disappearing Motivation

Anyway, let me just say that the strategy doesn't work. That scantily-clad stick-figure on the fridge will eventually become invisible... transparent. She will just cease to be noticed any more. And then it's July and well... there's always next summer, right? It's the same with my UFO* blog header. I stopped hearing it's motivational message. I simply stopped noticing it. 

Recently, I made a renewed effort to complete the incomplete, finish the unfinished, wrap things up and move on to the next thing... whatever that may be. Sounds so healthy, right? Well it is... and it isn't. That baby quilt, for instance, is for my God-son...

He just turned 7. 

I started the quilt when he was 0.